Getting Misgendered

Misgendering someone, especially on purpose, is a very low blow. No one deserves to feel less than, simply because you got caught up in your feelings.

When a transgender person first starts transitioning, the people around them are bound to make mistakes when it comes to using the right name and gender. But when years go by and those people are still doing that, it’s intentional. Those people may say “well I knew you before” or “it was an accident”. Only you can determine if those statements are a fact, or an excuse for not wanting to respect who you are.

One of the main reasons I stopped talking with my parents was because of how they continued to misgender me and use my birthname. Meanwhile, I have a deep voice, facial hair, and am called my chosen name and gender by everyone around me, except for the people who called themselves my family. It had been years since I started my medical transition, and there was never any effort or any sign of there being effort to correct these actions, they just kept doing it.

I respected myself too much to let it continue and stood up for myself, leading to me going no contact. But that’s a story for another blog post.

Accidentally misgendering someone you know, years post transition, should not be happening. Behind closed doors, that means they never put effort into changing their actions to begin with. Just like it’s not possible to use a racial slur on accident, unless you’re doing that behind closed doors.